Negotiations
by mrhotter
Summary: *First fic* After capturing Tyki Mikk. Allen,Kanda,Lenalee,and Lavi are forced to make a negotiation with the Earl. But things turn out weird.


So this is my first fanfic here and I hope you enjoy it. Also please review constructive criticism would really be appreciated. One last thing please don't take this fanfic seriously it's only meant for humor here.

* * *

Allen and Kanda had just returned from their mission. They were both in a bad condition. On their mission they ran into Tyki mikk, It was a miracle that they were able to come back safely and a bigger miracle that they captured him.

Now that they have arrived back at HQ with a beaten and drugged up Tyki, they went straight to Komui's office, to tell him about their capture. Though to their future misfortune Levrier was in the room instead Komui when they showed him Tyki. The inspector was astonished to say the least but then a huge almost sinister looking smile was on his face.

"What an interesting souvenir you two brought back." Levrier said.

Allen and Kanda groaned they could tell by that smile Lervrier had that this meant more work for them after their already tiring mission.

"Stop belly aching you two, the both of you will find where the Millennium Earl is and have him come out to negotiate with you for the Noah you captured" the inspector said.

"Can't you send someone else to do it, like Lavi or Lenalee." Kanda complained angrily.

"Come on we need a break we almost got killed, at least give us some time to rest." Said Allen.

"Okay you can have one day to rest, and since I am in a good mood today I will send Lavi and Lenalee to help you." Levrier smiled.

The two of them were happy they got to rest for today. It was bad enough that they were spent two missions in a row together. But at least they could rest for a bit.

(The next day)

The four exorcist were walking out of a train station, carrying a rather large almost human size crate with some holes in them.

"So how do we know where the Earl is?" Lenalee Asked.

"Tch, that stupid Noah would answer every question we asked him that's how high he is." said Kanda.

"Hey guy's I have a question. Why am I carrying the box? I can barely see with this huge box in the way." Lavi said somewhat angrily.

"Quit complaining Lavi you lost the bet" Allen said Smiling. Knowing if he lost he wouldn't be able to see at all over the box.

(One hour later)

The four exorcist had arrived at the Earl's huge Mansion. It looked far from what Allen imagined the Earl's hideout to look like. The mansion was in the style of the black orders new headquarters in contrast to a demonic medieval style castle with bats lining the roof and with a thunder cloud raining over the building. The only thing that Allen guessed right about the Earl's home is that there is a Medieval style gates blocking the way for intruders to get in. But what really made Allen think was that the man coming towards them was an actual human and not an akuma.

"Hello I am the lords messenger sparks what is it you want." The man said very loudly.

"Were from the black order tell the Earl we have Tyki Mikk and some demands for him." Allen stated.

"I'm sorry you're going to have to speak up I'm a bit hard of hearing, now you say you have a back order and some Amends for the Earl?" Sparks said again loudly

"No were from the black order and we have demands for the Earl." Allen shouted.

"Okay tell me what you want and I will relay it to the earl." Said Sparks.

(Inside the Earl's room.)

"Master Black order members are here and they have demands for you and they also have Tyki." Sparks said.

"What?" the earl yelled. After regaining his composure he said. "What do they want"

"Tell him we want to talk with him". Allen said

"They want to walk with you." Sparks said to the Earl.

"Or Tyki bites the dust." Allen said.

"Or Tyki bites his nuts." Sparks said

"Also he is in a box" Lavi butted in.

"Also he is a fox." Sparks said.

"Hehehe I'm beginning to like this." Allen said to Lavi. "Also tell him that I want yummy food and lodging." Allen said to Sparks.

"And the white haired boy wants a bloody rude rodgering."

"I don't think he's going to understand what you said" Lenalee said.

"Whether he understands or not we just need to get the Earl out here" said Allen.

"Besides whatever he said to him can't be that stupid" Lavi Added.

(Back in the Earl's room)

"Sparks Could you escort me to the top of the gates." said the Earl.

"Yes my lord" Sparks said.

(Back with Allen and Co.)

Kanda just noticed that the Earl was on top of the gates. "Hey it's the Earl and that messenger." Kanda exclaimed.

"It looks like he's grabbing Sparks." Lenalee said.

With sparks in his hands he threw the deaf messenger off the gates. Landing right in front of Allen.

"I don't think you're going to get that rodgering" Sparks Mustered out before dieing.

"Wait What?" Allen said confused.

" What do you idiots want" The Earl shouted on top of the gates.

"We have a deal for you we have Tyki Mikk held captive. Well guarantee his safety if you don't attack our headquarters." Allen said.

"You're an awful little brat." The earl yelled. "What makes you think I will take that deal?"

"Because I know the Noah's are like children to you." Allen yelled back.

'Eww. I wouldn't want to meet who had those children'. Lavi thought to himself.

"Okay you got me there so where is he" The Earl said in defeat.

"In this box." Lavi said dropping the box on the ground.

"You can take him when we leave." Allen said

"Alright then, guards retrieve that box" The Earl Commanded.

Two identical level two Akumas came out of the gates and went to the four exorcist and then the first one grabbed the box from the ground. As soon as the box left the ground the two Akumas quickly went back behind the gates. Where their master was waiting.

"It's good to have you back Tyki." The earl said as he opened the box. But to his surprise all there was in the box was a bunch of rocks and a note that said

"How stupid do you think we are"

The Earl Immediately ran outside and started yelling "Hey what are you trying to pull h-" The Earl stopped when he saw nothing but Lavi's hammer speeding of in the distance with the other three exorcist riding it.

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Yes I realize this story is shit but I just wanted to post this. Hopefully someone will get a laugh. And no there won't be another chapter or sequel if your wondering. Also yes that is the same Sparks from the game Armed and Dangerous.


End file.
